Sunday, October 18, 2009

The old-guards...guardian-angels

I feel like a 'somebody', a 'honu' in academia, when library-hands, instead of self-styled intellectuals -recognise me, and breed familiarity through lines like..."Ah, hello there, why didn't you come yesterday, had reserved this book/article/journal especially for you..." Oh...it makes my day. Everytime. :-)...


For these are the men who have hobnobbed with the doyens, known them when they were no more than hapless, eager wannabe's; helped them out, when they had racked their brains for a very important piece of data, or that particular, now-rare edition; spent sleepless days and nights on end sharing (and almost always, alleviating!) the frustrated agonies of writer's/researcher's blocks!


The warm tone of familiarity in their old, crackling voices therefore reassures me, just like the smell of old, crumbling, dog-eared fairy-tale books. And nestled safely in the nimbus of such a vast knowledge-sphere,a vastness unbound by 'degrees' and 'laurels', I smile to myself; for, I have a feeling, i too shall make it, i am in safe hands...make it to the list of shite-academics! And all because of unsung heroes as these...



Deflowered Wallflower...

The first time is the worst.
For anything; from heart break to the break of hymen.
And then, with no more blood to flow, no fragment tinier to break into, you become impervious...
But i guess, it doesn't show, doesn't make a noise...or why else will he go on expecting the same flow of fresh blood-red and impassioned, despite the numbness...? Prod the clot, inflict new scars, lash the whip relentlessly and lay bare the old ones, if need be...the insatiable baying for the red stench of stickiness...

Saga of delusional freaks

...I know the all-too familiar symptoms of romantic self-derision...you indulge in it and begin to imagine you owe your zest for life to someone, and then end up craving death in his/her stead...time and again, I've warned him against the trope...time and again, he has pooh-poohed me away...i just pray, when the bubble bursts, it doesnt leave him gasping for air....