The first time is the worst.
For anything; from heart break to the break of hymen.
And then, with no more blood to flow, no fragment tinier to break into, you become impervious...
But i guess, it doesn't show, doesn't make a noise...or why else will he go on expecting the same flow of fresh blood-red and impassioned, despite the numbness...? Prod the clot, inflict new scars, lash the whip relentlessly and lay bare the old ones, if need be...the insatiable baying for the red stench of stickiness...
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right. but i wonder if this is not so with all the firsts. it has probably more to do with the prolonged gestation period that precedes the actual delivery, to borrow another analogy from the world of women. the second delivery cannot, will never,be as exciting as the first. same goes for first love, first smoke, first day in college, death of loved ones, loss of a prized book, person, relationship. i guess it is also called rite of passage. of course, i have taken liberty to moderate the edge of your poignant piece in the comment. i could have used more edgy analogies but i find them redundant. numbness is its own best reproducer and curative at the same time, isn't it? no numbness is any more permanent than any excitement is everlasting. the only thing that remains is the process, and the journey. celebrate every moment of it.
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