I want a daughter. My own daughter. Conceived and nurtured in my own flesh and blood, in my womb.
But it is not enough for me to wish and desire and crave her. I need a man.
Somebody who might be kind enough to consent to parent her. Suiting his time, will, whim and fancy.
The irony!
I feel mad at such despondence, such helplessness.
I can adopt, I am told. I can, of course. But I don't want to! I do not want to be robbed of that beautiful experience of being a mother. Of becoming one. Biologically. Physically. Emotionally.
I do not wish to create her using someone's jerked-off expendable, either. I want to create her with the man I love, whom I choose to create her with. But why do I have to wait for when he may graciously do me that 'favour'?
Isn't there a third option?
I think there is. It is called having a love-child.
But do I have the guts to do what I want, defying what 10,000 other people don't? Do I want my Chitrangada badly enough?
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2 comments:
It's fairly easy. Have enough money and look those 10000 people straight in the eye and then do whatever you like! This is a winner's world. Too bad it is a fake world precisely for that reason. only some victories are considered acceptable. What bothers me though is why a man must wait for a woman to have a child! There is no reason why men cannot be as good if not better single parents than women.
Of course men can be! I personally vouch for the fact that they can, should the occasion arise, be better parents. Even by themselves.
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